The Twist in the Tale: Movie Advice of the Month

I wanted to title the post:

What to Say If Someone Asks You upon Sharing Some Grand Discovery in the Intricate, Dangerous Case You Are Investigating in which Many Clues Have Led through a Trail of Murder and Death If You Have Told Anyone Else about Your Crucial Discovery: Movie Advice of the Month

But apparently that was too long. Anyway...

Okay, so you’ve been in over your head. You’re a simple detective, but the seemingly simple murder has turned into a great big fiasco involving all kinds of local bigwigs. Having made the crucial discovery in the case that will put certain wealthy power-mongers away for good, you share it with your boss/trusted friend/fellow companion/etc.

Then they say something along the lines of: “Have you told anyone else about this?”

If you want to die, the answer is always: “No.” Always. Because when anyone asks you a question like that (especially provided the above context), you can be fairly certain that they are about to kill you.

But if you want to live, say something like: “Yes. In fact, I’ve told lots of people. All kinds of people, even. Really, you wouldn’t believe all the people I’ve told! And I wrote it all in my diary as soon as I discovered it. And I told a whole bunch of people I was coming over here, and I put my diary in a safety deposit box, and told them that if anything happens, to send that to the police. And I told your mom, and your grandmother, and your spouse. I even told the police chief. Really, like, everyone knows at this point except you. You were last on my list of people to tell.” Other variations may be acceptable, but to deviate from this general idea would result in almost certain death, or at the very least, a fantastic gun battle where you will escape but only barely.

You see, the person you trusted the whole time – they are almost surely the mastermind behind it all. At least…oh, nine times out of ten.

And who says movies can’t teach us anything valuable?